Most couples wait far too long to ask for help. By the time they reach out, one partner is often exhausted, hurt, and quietly wondering whether it's worth fixing at all. As a relationship coach in Bay Area, California, I hear the question "When should we ask for help?" all the time. My answer: probably sooner than you think. When Couples Usually Reach Out Most couples don't come to me when things first start feeling off. They come when the pain has been building for a long ti